If you read
the index page, you know by now that I've changed web hosts
which is a lot like moving, but perhaps even more complicated. One
of the reasons that I changed
web hosts after more than four years was that Freeservers changed
their e-mail system without notification and lost most of my
email along with all of my personal addresses. So if you want
to be in touch send me an email at personal at cyberbali.com
so I can get in touch again. Especially you, Aaron, as we want
some more photos of Paige.
Sam and
I arrived here last Saturday so almost a week of my vacation
is gone - doesn't seem possible. I picked up a
stomach bug just a few days after arriving from Sumbawa and
spent three days in bed. I'm glad that passed.
It's rained
three days in a row which cooled things off a bit, but everything
is fairly damp. I'm still involved in trying to explain to
everyone - children, wife, family, and neighbors why I'm "retiring"
now. I can understand this in terms of the family wanting more
financial security than they will have once I stop working
and neighbors not understanding how I can give up a well-paid
job. But, I find the contradictions in their reasoning maddening.
Everyone can understand how an Indonesian can quit their job
in order to be closer to their family or because they're "capek"
(tired) or because they don't like their boss, but it's seemingly
impossible for them to understand how I can want to do something
else before I die than teach the same thing year after year.
The idea of wanting to write and read and think and put some
things in order internally before exiting the stage seems like
such an alien concept.
In a sense,
it's another example of different value systems and different
cultural constructions of reality. Foreign residents of Thailand
often comment on how Thais have such difficulty understanding
foreigners (the other side of the "inscrutable Orientals").
Indonesians really are no different. I was reading an expat
forum (there are so many on the internet that are there, it
seems, to offer some support for folks who have left their
country for one reason or another) the other day and the new
topic was on how much the expat has adapted to their host culture.
One of the issues was the "constant chatter" that Asians seem
to have. I'm not sure how much validity there is to that since
it's been so long since I've lived in the US, but sociability
ranks high up on the value system here in Indonesia. Even
after 18 years here, people still don't understand that I can
be perfectly happy sitting by myself watching the ocean or
reading or writing with no one else around.
When I first
moved here, a new friend started to join me snorkeling even
though he was engaged in repairing his fishing nets. When I
asked why he was joining me when he was obviously busy, he
said he didn't want me to be lonely. Yesterday, one of my brothers-in-law
said the same thing after we came back from Id prayers. I sat
down at the kitchen table to have a coffee and cigarette, and
he sat down as well even though his wife and kids were going
home to prepare for guests. I inquired about why he was sitting
with me when he was obviously busy, and he said that he didn't
want me to have to sit alone.
Well, a
lot of stuff here as I go through some anxiety about "retiring"
- what will I do with my time, what about money during some
dangerous economic times, will I be disciplined enough to sit
and write everyday like I plan, what about impending health
issues, and on and on. Learning to live with some of these
anxieties is going to be a challenge, but the idea of working
in an environment that doesn't share my educational philosophy
is just something that has been hanging on me. There are all
sorts of educational philosophies out in our business, and
some folks are happy with the status quo. I've seen all of
these wonderful things that other schools are doing, and not
being able to do that at my school has just gotten so frustrating
that rather than sit around and whine about it at school and
make everyone else miserable, I'd rather get out now and see
what else there is and what other ways I can contribute to
education.
And ain't
that the truth?
No new scans
right now, but here is the link to
the first four (soon to be back online). I'd still like
to get some more
old photos so if you have photos send them.
The built-in guestbook
is gone, and I'm working to find a script to put in here to
get one back. But in the meantime, if you click on this link
you can go to my new guestbook and
leave a message there.
I'm testing out
a video page. Click here to see the first test.